FireDance“The River of Tears is transformed into a River of Love"
It took me another 17 years to turn these words written after my Vision Quest in August 1998 into Words – into Hieroglyphs Filled With Honey.

In Gratitude – Tinah Bee / Isa, Woman with the Drum

In the South the Hill goes further up and the huge Tree standing there stretching out her Arms over the Place which will be my Home for the next few days will protect me against the heat of the Sun during daytime. East and West are plants and bushes and in the North where the Hill goes further down open space.

I crawl along the Cord with Tabacco Ties to explore the Outline of my Circle and to find out how big my Territory is.

In the West is a Doorway made of two Poles. At one of them a Blue Flag is attached for Spirit, at the other a Green One for Mother Earth. Outside the Circle 4 Poles are placed on the 4 Directions each with a Flag in the Colour of that Direction. In the Center of the Circle a Center Pole with a Dark Red Flag for Protection.

Journeying along the Outline of my Circle I find exactly at the Pole with the Spirit Flag a Path dividing my Circle in Two going straight from West to East.
I’m thrilled. This Path literally and symbolically is my Orientation in the world. No need to Crawl anymore. Standing up I realise that the Child has been grown into Adulthood.

I set myself on the Path, lay the flat triangle shaped stone in front of me which I will use as my Fireplace. I put a charcoal on it and try to lit it, with my lighter, with matches, but it doesn’t work. I hold on, start fighting with the Fire. I want to burn Sage! For Protection and Cleansing! It works but when I want to burn the Sage again and again I have to fight to keep the fire burning. Matches break and the flame of my lighter gets higher and higher which is dangerous here out in nature and so I give up.

Some of our Group have a small Drum with them and so I have but fear to be heard and seen holds me back from playing. I can hear the Drums of those who are not that far away from me and also my Beloved. He is there, Loud and Clear, and the Sound of his Drum is magnificent coming from that Place high up in the mountains. I can’t but take my Drum and Respond.

I’m not afraid to be alone / to be on my own here in my Circle. I feel quiet. This Place breathes a Sense of being safe and protected. During the night the Crickets make a lot of noise and I’m grateful for the Dance of Time carrying me from this Loud Concert into the Lovely Songs of Birds. And after the Birds the Insects come and it is Dawn and a New Day is Born again.

The Tree is taking care of me very well and I’m happy with the extra clothes I’ve put on the night before. It is in the afternoon being in the Northwest of my Circle that I finally can feel the warmth of the Sun. I throw off my extra clothes, run to my Firestone in a desire to give thanks by burning Sage. Again it doesn’t work and then Understanding comes in.
It is not about making fire in the Outer World, it is about Igniting Fire in my Inner World. I take my Drum, go to the Sunwarmed place in the West and start Drumming, start Drumming, Dancing and Singing. I Sing the Song of my Sunrise in the West.
I Sing and Sing and Dance, I Dance and Dance over the Fire, Delighted to have found back Joy. I Dance the Fire, for Her, for Shameless Joy. And I Dance the Fire with You, hand in hand we Dance the Fire, Our Fire, A circular Path of Fire, the perfect Shape for Holy Marriage, for Hieros gamos.

And the 1 becomes 2 and the 2 becomes 8.

Credits Photo: Evoke_The_Fire_Within_by_ColdFlame1987


Whispers from the Past

While Sara is describing the Cave to me Rhythm and Melody of her voice are guiding me towards the Place through metamorphosing Words into Hieroglyphs – into Sacred Sound – into Vibration.

I’m standing in front of a rocky massif, the entrance, a triangle is not clear to me. What is clear is that I feel an extremely desolated place.
I can hear the crispy sound of the grass under my feet. Feeling with my hands it feels dry and dead.
It is warm although the sun is not shining. It is that kind of atmosphere short before thunder and lightning.
The stonemass in front of me feels strong, thick, not inviting and it is like its going a bit in a bow more to the left. I hear a bit of echolocation on my left and in the same time I feel its presence. It’s a combination of these two ways of perceiving/sensing something.
The stone doesn’t feel rough, it feels warm although from inside (so there must be an entrance) a certain sensation of cold is coming towards me.

When I turn my back towards this huge rocky wall there is nothing in front of me. On a far distance there is woods. Somehow I feel the presence of trees on a distance.
But here on this place I do not feel well. This place for me feels so incredibly desolated, almost threatening.
I feel resistence but remembering my Role in Life I turn around again and look for the entrance. It’s there and I know I have to go inside and find out more.
So I bow down and go inside. The resistence inside myself is the reason why I can’t go inside that easily.
Once inside there is a room where I can stand upright. In the center is a sort of stone altar in the shape of a pyramid although the top is flat.
A woman is hanging over it, her hair hanging loose. She’s not dead but all life force is flown out of her. Then from the left young women appear as if they come right out of the walls.

The atmosphere is tense. I start playing a Drum, a Handdrum, the Persophone Rhythm.
I’m here, it seems, to comfort them, to soothe their emotions.
While drumming the young women start feeling more alive again and so does the older woman. She is now standing near the altar and not hanging over it any more.
I tell them there is no need to hide away any longer.
Then the young women start to dance.

What they pass down to me is that this was a place for women to gather, to teach each other, to initiate the young ones in the mysteries of Life, the physical life as well as the spiritual.
On a certain moment in time they were forced to hide themselves away.
Inside the cave it feels much better now. The atmosphere has dramatically changed.
You don’t have to hide anymore is again what I’m telling them.
There is nothing to be afraid of, nothing to fear.
They go back to their places and so do I. I’m back in my room at home.

Song of Creation

In the beginning She was, She was there holding a Drum on Her lap. Her hands laying over the Drum, Protecting Her Belly, Her Womb Energy, Waiting, Listening, Listening to a Sound that can’t be heard with physical ears but can be heard with Ears of the Heart.
It is the Sound of Bees, humming their Song of Creation, waiting for someone to tune in and Sing Life into Beeing.
As soon as She takes Her Drum in Her hand, lifting Her finger for the first stroke, She knows that with that Dum everything will be changed for ever.
She knows that as soon as She starts playing the Drum Vibrations will spread from Her into the Universe like a stone being thrown into the Waters creating circles starting where it touches the water growing bigger and bigger reaching out onto unknown places.

And so it is with the Waves of our Thoughts, our Feelings, our Words. Once they have left their place of Birth they will cycle through the Universe in a way we might not have exspected, in a direction we might not have foreseen. It will create and affect Creation in a way we can’t predict.
So, the only thing we can do is to hold our Drums carefully and listen and, with the Bees, Sing our Song of Creation.

Credits: Picture is taken from

Queen Bee Meets Woman Drummer

Bhramari Devi (Bee Goddess/Queen Bee)

It is after one month of strange feelings Her body is buzzing like many Bees are living inside her. THe whole world around her and within her is vibrating. Doctors say her nervous system is exhausted. She likes to name it being very sensitive.

That day, after friends have visited her, Isa is tired.
She lays down to rest and then all at the sudden it starts. The noise in her head and body, vibrations inside and outside swirling in and over her. She’s taken over by Vibrations. She starts panicking which makes it even worse.
She is overwhelmed by it, feels desperate. It will drive her crazy, that noise, all those vibrations. She doesn’t exist anymore. She is electricity only. There is only this ocean of chaos.
And somehow, somewhere, something essential from her is still there. Now she can describe it like being in the center of a storm, in the stillpoint of it, there is still something left from her – Witnessing.
The Sacred Witness reminds her of what she once heard about the Snake Ceremony, standing at the Fire fully naked after having shed skin, no past, no future, only the very moment and the Unknown.

Then a clear Insight/Inspiration comes to her: this is a Hive without a Queen. And the Voice of the Sacred Witness asks without speaking the words out loud: who is the Queen here. An immediate response from a womans voice: you are the Queen.
These words sort of hardens her a bit back into shape again.
She is the Queen. She has to hold this Hive, her Hive, Herself, together. Misty rags of old patterns pass by, feelings of guilt and feelings of being a victim.
She feels sick, miserable, weak, but she is the Queen, she has to take responsibility as Co-Creator now and bring this chaos back into structure again and she finally stands up and takes her Drum, starting to play the Heartbeat, softly, lightly, because she exists from vibration only and her Drum as soon as she will touch it will vibrate as well. Then she starts playing a Rhythm called Bhramari Devi (Bee Goddess) with both hands. She puts the Drum on her lap because holding it is to heavy for her at this moment and she keeps playing this Rhythm, softly, lightly, using both hands very consciously because she knows using both her hands will make her brain hemispheres work together, will synchronize them and will lead her out of Chaos into Structure again. And so it happens.
And all the time her Guidedog has been laying besides her keeping her warm
and being ready to guide her even in the Inner World.

She feels vulnerable afterwards like a baby just being born but she knows everything is gonna be alright and she is ready for this new phase of her life she just has been born into.

Credits: The featured Drum which she has named Whispers of the Great Mystery is painted by Nikiah Seeds from

Bhramari Devi is composed and performed by Isabella Verbruggen from

The First Sound


Why the Frame Drum Was at the Core of Ancient Mediterranean Spiritual Rites by Layne Redmond

The first sound we hear is the pulse of our mother’s blood. We vibrate to this primordial
pulse even before we have ears to hear. All the eggs a woman will ever have form in her
ovaries when she is a four-month-old fetus. This means that the sacred egg that developed
into the person you are now, formed in your mother’s ovary when she was growing in the womb
of her mother. Each of us, male and female, spent five months in the womb of our
grandmother, rocking to the beat of her blood. And our mother spent five months rocking to
the pulse of her grandmother’s blood, and her mother pulsed to the beat of her
grandmother’s blood. Back through the pulse of all the mothers and all the grandmothers,
through the beat of the blood that we all share, this sound returns us to the preconscious
state, to the inner structure of the mind, to the power and the source of who and what we
actually are: the pulsing unified field of all consciousness existing everywhere, within
everything, beyond past, present, or future.

The sound of the drum has represented this
primordial pulse of creation since the beginning of human ritual.
It is an ancient thought that rhythmic sound is at the root of all creation, that the world
is structured by sound, and that life is rhythm. In India the influence of rhythm and
tuning on consciousness has been explored for thousands of years and is considered a form
of yoga – Nada Yoga. The primary concept of nada yoga is that ultimate reality emanates
from a primordial first sound, the pulse, which echoes the 20th century scientists’ concept
of the Big Bang that creates the universe. The frequencies of this root vibration create
our physical world. As human beings, we are also emanations of this vibration and subject
to the laws of sound.
This archetypal pulse of consciousness vibrates within us as the
sound of our own heart beating.
Every human being on the planet took form to the primal pulse and this sound has the power
to draw us back to our earliest stirrings of awareness. 

This is why drumming has been at
the core of shamanistic, religious, and transformative rites since Paleolithic times. The
power of rhythmic sound returns us to the pre-socialized, unconditioned, and balanced state
of awareness we experienced in the womb.
Rhythmic sound generated by a master drummer can captivate and move the conscious mind out
of the way. This enables the facilitator, the shaman, priest/priestess or healer to deliver
healing, integrating messages directly to deeper, less conscious realms of the mind that
influence behavior. When participants in the process are also moving, chanting, breathing,
and/or drumming the therapeutic aspects of the experience are greatly magnified.
These kinds of spiritual and therapeutic rhythmic practices synchronize not only our minds
and bodies, but also the two hemispheres of the brain. In a state of hemispheric
synchronization, the capacities of both the left and the right brains function
simultaneously. The mind becomes more concentrated, synthesizing information much more
rapidly than normal. The conscious and unconscious levels of the mind communicate and
integrate more easily. Emotions are easier to understand and transform. Insight quickens
and creative intuition flourishes giving us the ability to visualize and manifest ideas
quickly. Rhythmic breathing and movement encourages alpha waves to become dominant in the
brain, allowing muscle tension to be reduced.  This predominance of alpha brain waves also
creates the release of endorphins, potent brain chemicals that help us cope with pain and
are part of the mechanism for dealing with and eliminating fear and anxiety. As stress
fades, a more beneficial state of peaceful awareness can manifest. Scientists believe that
hemispheric synchronization may be the neurological basis of transcendent states of
consciousness and emotional feelings of spirituality.

These are some of the reasons that the frame drum was at the core of the ancient religious
traditions and that women were so identified with this drum. Symbols, like the lotus, that
represent creation, birth, or the womb, were often painted on the frame drum or the drums
were painted red = the color of blood, the color of life. The frame drum, represented in
the hands of the goddess or her priestess, illustrated her power to create the universe
with one stoke on her drum, with one big beat of her primordial heart every thing
vibrated into existence.

Woman with the Drum

In a private session with one of her Teachers she is guided back to the very beginning, beyond thoughts and feelings, into the Unmanifested, the omnipotent nothingness.
She is reliving the experience she once had in Peru. Again she is breathing with her environment, again she is breath herself. Her Teacher is telling about the Woman with the Drum who was there at the very beginning because of the Beat of the Drum being the first sound of creation. She asks Isa how she is related to this Woman with the Drum and Isa’s answer is: I’m holding the Drum.
Sitting in the Center of Creation she understands with her whole being, can see and feel it very clearly, how, when she is only moving a finger, when she is only beginning to think a thought, beginning to feel a feeling, speaking a word, playing her Drum, how she creates vibration and how this vibration influences the whole Web of Vibrations, the Web of Life and she feels vulnerable in acknowledging her responsibility as Co-Creator.








Calling the Divine Feminine Home

Oh four-winged Child of the Golden Sun
You know exactly where Life once sprung
Piping in your Cave yet unseen
You were on your way to become a Queen
And in that same Metamorphosis Moon
Many more Beings would follow soon
All born from your heart and soul
All born from your Royal Blood
So many creatures and yet a whole
What is it that makes it work that good
No rules no laws no written mission
Simply following Divine Hive Vision
By following the fertile pheromone
that always will orient the Hive to Home

Oh Great Mother, Oh Hive Mother
Finally accepting your Graceful Presence
Blending the Spiritual and the Physical
Into a Sacred Healing Essence

It makes sense your fertile pheromone
Giving me direction in a fruitful life
Giving me connection with a soulful Hive
Giving me orientation back to Home
For Freedom surely is to be found
In being oriented instead of being bound
This Sacred Path of Bees is mine
Welcome back Feminine Divine